I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
