wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
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