also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
