We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
