i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
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If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
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We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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