he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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