He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
