Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
