i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize
