Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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