oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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