i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
