THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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