My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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