I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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