I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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