I showed him my bush... on skype.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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