He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize