I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
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Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
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All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
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