Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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