i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Randomize
