I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
