all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
