Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
