I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
