once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
