so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
