3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
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