In the future we'll all be gay
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Randomize
