My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
