Heybabeimwearingurpanties
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize