When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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