Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
