i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
