What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
This is my gift to your gina
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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