you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
