My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize