the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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