I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
