I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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