I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
