I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
