Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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