So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize