Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
