so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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