Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
