dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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