Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
