how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
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These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
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Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
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