Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
