Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
