tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
