I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
my poor anus
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
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