How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
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Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
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I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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