..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
