very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
