have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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